Review: Dumplin’ by Julie Murphy

Dumplin' book cover

The fact that the main character in this book is fat is important. It is definitely about being a fat teenage girl. But it’s more than that, because Willowdean has more going on than that, seeing as she’s, you know, a person. It’s convincingly set in small-town Texas, which brings another element to the book. One of the things I really liked about it was all the details the author threw in—it really gave a good sense of what it’s like to live in a large body (in Texas, too).

Willowdean is very different from me—for one, she’s relatively confident. She doesn’t let it stop her from going swimming at a public pool, for instance. She’s very self-aware and aware of how she’s perceived but has just not let that get to her too much. But the main reason I found her confidence believable was because there are chinks in it. There’s a scene where she’s kissing Bo and he touches her side—where there is some noticeable fat—and she recoils, afraid he’ll “know”. Of course this is ridiculous because he already knows she’s big by looking at her, but it’s also totally natural on her part. Also, she assumes Bo is inherently better than she is because he’s a jock. She can’t really believe he likes her back—she thinks he’s just slummin’ it with a girl who’s convenient, basically (since they hang out after work). When something changes that dynamic, she assumes she’s going to be tossed to the side so she takes preemptive action, which I sort of understood (though I still felt like she overreacted, given the circumstances).

The book obviously deals with that relationship, but there are several other things going on (that take up more space, too). The pageant is the big one, but it ties in directly with her relationship with her mom. Willowdean thinks her mom doesn’t love her as much as she would a healthy-sized daughter, which is probably true. Also important is her friendship with her best friend Ellen, which is suddenly on hold basically because of something really selfish Willowdean says. Again this comes from those old insecurities. Those things have to get resolved.

I didn’t get super into the whole pageant thing as I do dislike them. But the book has an interesting, somewhat ambivalent take on them. Because the friends Willowdean ends up doing the pageant with are all different, and one of them does take it seriously. Also, there’s Dolly Parton all through the book, which is definitely different. On the whole, it’s a unique book in YA and I’d recommend it.

Buy Dumplin’ on Amazon US

My House is in Disarray

Missing walls
Where are the walls?

I’m in the process of completely renovating my living room and dining room. Because of damage done by the very costly Bad Cat (aka Zmije), I had to replace all the drywall. Of course, I ended up having asbestos, so that turned the removal into a very expensive and complex process.

After the asbestos people cleared the house, the first thing Marvin did was run through the old half wall and then jump on top.

Marvin on the half wall

I’ve since had the wall taken out. Right now Marvin is temporarily locked up, although he is good at convincing me to let him out when I’m in the room with him.

Marvin in his cage
Marvin. “So I can sit here, or I can lie down here.” “Or you can sit in the litter box.”

And Zmije lives in a cage permanently now, which she bizarrely seems to like. Whenever I open the door to feed her, she head butts me and sometimes puts her paws on my chest, but makes no move to escape. She just needs attention. If I’d known she’d be happier this way, I’d have done it ages ago.

Zmije. “I thought you wanted me to pee on the wall.” “No.”

I so can’t wait for everything to be normal again.

Review: Jersey Angel by Beth Ann Bauman

Jersey Angel book cover

Jersey Angel is different from most YA books because, frankly, there’s a lot of sex in it. It looks like a fun summer read, with a girl in a bikini at the beach on the cover. But it isn’t that, really. It’s definitely not for everybody, because the protagonist isn’t a super sympathetic character. Seventeen-year-old Angel is promiscuous and not a very good friend at all. But it’s raw and true to some teens’ experiences.

Angel has a couple of younger half-siblings she’s close with and her chill mom gives her way more freedom than a lot of teens have. She sort of has her own house, after all, except during the summer when her family rents it out to tourists. She also has two half-sisters on her dad’s side and strained relationship with her stepmom. She works occasionally but spends most of her free time at the beach and riding her bike around to hang with her various friends.

Angel lives for pleasure and barely bats an eye when her best friend’s boyfriend surprises her one night with a kiss. She enjoys sex and doesn’t want anything more than that out of a relationship, even though her semi-boyfriend Joey wants to make their relationship official. She finds it baffling that he’s called things off because she won’t. I get the feeling that him breaking up with her is the first hit her confidence has taken. Still, she’s oblivious to how shallow she really is. When she takes up with her friend’s boyfriend for real but in secret, she does feel bad, but it doesn’t stop her. Angel does grow over the next few months, but the novel doesn’t go where you’d expect it to. It’s just a nice little portrait of real life, bad choices and all.

Bauman does a great job of making a not-very-likable girl who’s about as different from me as possible into someone I at least find interesting to read about. The dialogue is spot-on—Bauman really nails Angel’s voice, as well as the other characters’. There are also all the little details that make her world real (Joey’s new interest in fancy cheese made me laugh).

Buy Jersey Angel on Amazon US

Review: The Miseducation of Cameron Post by emily m. danforth

The Miseducation of Cameron Post book cover

The Miseducation of Cameron Post is a pretty unusual book for contemporary YA. First, it’s pretty long. It reads more like a memoir than a novel. I would classify it as literary fiction. I think maybe it’s a little short on clear traditional plot.

But none of those things means it’s not great.

The novel starts with a 12-year-old Cameron, who has her first kiss—with a girl—in the first few pages. Soon her world is shaken by the death of her parents, bringing in her aunt as her caretaker. We don’t see much of her life before her aunt, so it’s hard to know exactly how truly different things end up being, but we do know that her aunt is much more religious than her parents. This high religiosity—and the relatively conservatism of the Montana city they live in—means Cameron tries not to really think about what she knows about herself and how different she is from everyone around her. Eventually, she gets found out about halfway through the book and her aunt sends her off to a radical school.

It sort of ends up like two books, because the only thing that’s not different about the second half is Cameron herself. The setting, the characters, the goals—everything else is new. The two halves read a little differently, too, with the second half faster-paced despite the fact that it focuses on a shorter period of time.

Regardless, I did read the book very slowly, but it was more to savor it the experience than because it didn’t hold my interest. It seemed to demand a slow read, in fact—I needed to digest it piece by piece. I should also mention that while it may be a novel about growing up a lesbian girl, but it didn’t necessarily feel like a coming-out book. It’s more about accepting and embracing who you really are. Personally, I found it really easy to relate to Cameron’s “differentness.” It didn’t hurt that she was born just two years later than I was, so her pop culture references were very familiar, but it was more about the fact that she just didn’t identify with the standard expression of femininity.

Buy The Miseducation of Cameron Post on Amazon US

Sometimes 75% is Good Enough

marvin standing on the heater

Marvin loves the heater so much that he’s found a way to stand on it even though he can’t balance with all four paws on it. He does this all the time. It has me thinking that maybe perfection isn’t necessary–something between nothing and everything can still be okay…

Review: Dark River by Mary Jane Beaufrand

Dark River book cover

I stumbled across Dark River at Half Price Books and knew nothing about it, but it sounded interesting. The cover asked, What deadly secrets does the river hold?

Ronnie’s parents move her to a small, rural-ish town in Oregon so they can run a country inn. Her dad is a former attorney who doesn’t miss it, and Ronnie is a former city girl who does. Her mom cooks exotic stuff to make people feel better, being a former TV cooking show star. Ronnie’s a little lonely and has just one friend who works at the inn, Gretchen, and a guy at school she has a crush on, though that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. She also befriends a young girl named Karen, who she babysits.

The river is basically a moody character in the story, setting the entire tone of the book. Ronnie is a little fascinated by it, as well as the rest of nature that she’s getting acquainted with. She watches everything during her long runs out on the country roads.  But her comfortable world is rocked when she finds Karen’s body at the river while on one of her runs. At first, it seems not surprising that the volatile river would take a life.

But things get more complicated when it turns out that Karen didn’t drown accidentally. And a warning from the sheriff to Ronnie about Gretchen seems like nothing but eventually turns out to be a harbinger of some really dreadful things. The world is not as Ronnie sees it—it’s much darker and she has to come face to face with it.

She sense of foreboding is there throughout the novel so that you know something is going to happen, but I for one had no idea what it was going to be. And it’s interesting and relevant. Overall, a good read, and relatively short if you’re not in the mood for a something lengthy (though it’s emotionally hefty, for sure).

Buy Dark River on Amazon US

Jury Duty

I mentioned a couple weeks ago that I had jury duty. I thought some people might be curious how it all works, so I figured I’d post about my own experiences (in King County, Washington).

I’ve been called to jury duty three times now (in the four and a half years I’ve lived in the Seattle area—actually in the less than three years since I’ve moved to my current house, now that I’m thinking about it.) I heard a rumor that King County’s random number generator is crap, because there are some people that just get called all the time. Great…

So the way jury selection works, you are first in the large pool of all available jurors. Then some of you are selected to be considered for a particular trial and given a number. You become one with that number. They line you up outside the courtroom in numerical order (it’s a lot like how you lined up for the bathroom in elementary school, really) and then you file in and sit in your number’s assigned spot, where there’s usually a plastic number card. They put you in order so that the judge can count off left to right, front to back. The courtroom also contains the judge, the prosecutor, the defense attorney, and the defendant (for a criminal trial—I’m not sure what everyone is called in a civil trial). The crux of it is that the lower your number, the more likely you are to be selected, because they fill the jury box in numerical order, as well.

Then they begin a process called voir dire. This is the process of actual jury selection, when they are trying to determine if any of the jurors would make a bad juror. It’s pretty involved and takes a while. The first step is to be sworn in, just like on TV. You have to raise your right hand and say “I do” at the appropriate time. Then the judge reads a long-winded set of information and instructions, before asking a series of relevant questions of the jurors (“Does any juror believe they have an undue hardship and cannot be a juror on this trial?”; “Does any juror have any family or close friends who work in law enforcement?”; “Does any juror have any strong feelings, one way or the other, about alcohol consumption?”) and then the two lawyers are provided the opportunity to ask questions, as well. If you feel a yes in response to the question, you have to raise your plastic number card and the judge and lawyers write down your number and enquire on details later. After all the questions have been asked, the judge goes through each of her questions with each juror who’d raised their number.

Each lawyer has the ability to request a juror be excused “for cause” an unlimited number of times. The judge decides whether or not to excuse the juror (in my experience, they always said yes). Each can also make a set (and limited) number of “peremptory challenges” against jurors, where they do not have to give a reason to have a juror excused. Again, the judge makes the final decision (also, always granted in my experience). Requests for dismissal for cause are usually for fairly obvious biases, like for the juror at one of mine who pointed out that as a black man, he inherently distrusts the police and would always find their testimony suspect. Peremptory challenges are usually made in more subtle cases, where one of the lawyers feels a juror would be bad for their case. From my perspective, it wasn’t always clear why.

The first time I was called, I was first considered but not selected for a civil case. Then I ended up on a jury for a DUI case. It turned out to be super-straightforward because the breathalyzer results were a slam-dunk for the prosecutor. The defense’s approach was to try to convince the jury that the margin of error for each stage of the breathalyzer added up could have accounted for his score. This is important, because the “burden of proof” is on the prosecutor to “prove beyond a reasonable doubt” that the defendant is guilty. If, for instance, the legal limit is 0.08 and his score was 0.10, but there are three stages to the breathalyzer and the margin of error for each is 0.01, then the point is it is possible that his true score was only 0.07, if he were really unlucky. That might provide reasonable doubt. Then the jury would have had to consider the testimony of the arresting officer and his observations and field sobriety tests. However, in my case, the addition they did was actually wrong and the total amount of possible error was still not high enough to account for a belo-the-limit score. Basically, they did bad math and hoped the jury didn’t notice.

Something funny did happen during that trial, though. There were 7 of us because they always pick 1 (more for larger juries) alternate, who has to stay for the whole trial but is released before deliberations begin. The point of this person is to cover in case another juror goes away for some reason. But in the DUI trial, at the beginning of the second day, juror #1 was asked to leave, so we were down to just 6. So no more alternate. We didn’t know why that had happened until juror #2 told us he’d seen her actually fall asleep during the testimony of the state trooper. Apparently the judge had noticed, too.

This time, I was initially being considered for a 2-week trial regarding a gun assault and very much did not want to be on that case. I was juror #43 of the 50 they’d brought in for a 14-person jury. I raised my card for the question, “Does anyone have any strong feelings, positive or negative, about guns?” and told the court that, “I really, really hate guns.” They always ask in response, “Will that affect your ability to be impartial in this case?” Of course, the answer is no, but I still suspect the defense would have given me a peremptory challenge if they’d gotten to my number. I ended up not being selected for it, anyway. They got up to juror #32 because of all the dismissals.

The trial I did get picked for was regarding an attack the (female) defendant was alleged to have committed against a (female) bartender. I was juror #17 for a 6-person jury, and the highest number picked. They finished all the voir dire questioning and sent us off to jury rooms and then came back and told jurors #14 and #17 to stay. This was different from how the selection went in the gun case because there we were all in the actual courtroom as they went through the dismissals. But for this case, it was all behind closed doors. I guess the point is that every judge is different.

The case itself was interesting. I won’t say much because in the end, I was the alternate and so did not stay for deliberations. I don’t know what they decided. But also, there was a small chance a mistrial was declared because of a mistake that was made I guess by the judge. When they sent us into the jury room after the closing arguments, they forgot that one of us was an alternate. One of the other jurors asked the clerk about it and she was shocked when she realized he was right, so they told us not to discuss the case. When I left, the judge asked me if we had discussed it and I think instead of saying definitively no (which was true), I said something stupid like, “We didn’t get far,” because I was nervous in the setting (the judge, the lawyers, and the defendant all standing there, and then the clerk asking me for my phone number all at once). Assuming the trial continued, I guess if one of the jurors hadn’t come back after lunch, I would have been called back in.

One thing I can say is that drunk people do not make good witnesses (as in people who were drunk at the time of the alleged crime—obviously people drunk on the stand would be bad, too).

Review: Winger and Stand Off by Andrew Smith

Winger book cover
Stand-Off book cover

Andrew Smith always impresses me. But of all of his books that I’ve read, Winger and Stand-Off are my favorites because they are funny but still speak to something real. As always with Smith, the main character is a boy, which offers a different perspective from what I usually read. The novels follow Ryan Dean West, a smart kid who’s skipped two grades and attends a boarding school. He’s got a little bit of an artistic bent and draws great little illustrations covering various aspects of his life. He’s also pretty crude and gives us a direct line into the male teen psyche, which is both funny and a teensy bit disturbing. It’s not like I didn’t know that sex is on their minds about 80% of the time, but it’s still funny to see it played out. Still, the male characters feel very real and even relatable.

Ryan Dean’s in a slightly awkward position since he’s younger than his peers (his cohort, I guess I could say). At the beginning of Winger, his best friend is a girl named Annie, and unsurprisingly he’s in love with her, but as he’s just fourteen and she’s sixteen, she (also unsurprisingly) thinks he’s just a kid. Ryan Dean also has to play a sport—and he chooses rugby, which is interesting because it’s a pretty tough game. I’m not giving anything important away if I tell you there’s a pretty funny and unquestionably painful scene where Ryan Dean’s crotch gets stepped on by a heavy cleat, which actually causes bleeding. Poor guy. Throughout the course of his junior year, he also becomes really good friends with an older boy named Joey, who serves as a bit of a mentor while Ryan Dean makes some pretty bad choices along the way. When something really terrible happens at the end of the book, Ryan Dean’s grown up some so he can handle it a little better than he might have earlier.

But he doesn’t handle it all that well, and that carries us into the sequel, Stand Off. In this one, he’s a fifteen-year-old senior but he gets stuck with an annoying twelve-year-old freshman roommate in one of the the smallest dorm rooms on campus. The powers that be at the school figure Ryan Dean will be great for helping the kid—Sam—adjust to life at the school. He resents this, since he’s spent his whole time there trying to transcend the age difference. By now, he’s managed to convince Annie to be his girlfriend, so things should looking up, even if Sam is a little fixated on her, himself. Ryan Dean’s also been made captain of the rugby team, which brings its own set of challenges. Most importantly, the troubles of the last year are still haunting him, leaving him with some genuine problems he’s afraid to face head-on. The novel takes us through that year, with him finally dealing with everything by getting the help he needs to make it happen.

I really can’t recommend these books enough.

You can buy Winger and Stand-Off on Amazon US

Weird Day

I just had to share this really weird day I had. Earlier this week, I had jury duty, and on the first day I went to Panera for lunch. As I was approaching the door, so was a family consisting of a young woman in a wheelchair, and older woman pushing the chair, and a little girl maybe 2 years old. So I held the door for them. I mean, seriously, who wouldn’t? They were excessively thankful, which made me uncomfortable because I’m socially awkward and can’t take thanks or a compliment properly to save my life. Anyway, once we were in line, the older woman was holding the little girl, who pointed at me and said, “There’s the nice lady.” So then we had to have a little exchange where we said hi and then she thanked me again and I said it was no problem.

When the next register opened, they weren’t ready, so they told me to go ahead. I figured we were even, all squared away. Then I tried to find a place to sit and literally the only open spots were at one of those big tables with 10 chairs, and the two at the end were occupied. So I sat at the other end.

Soon, the appreciative family came along (and they had picked up Grandpa by this time) and were also finding nowhere to sit. They pondered sitting at my table. I was thinking it would be awkward because they’d have to all sit on one side, and I’d be sitting amongst them. Then, the guy at the two-seater right behind me left, so I snagged his table. I hadn’t even gotten my food yet.

Then Grandpa came over and asked in wonderment if I’d moved for his daughter. I’m not even sure what I said, because I was again embarrassed. I mean, it so wasn’t a big deal. Besides, I’d rather sit at a small table alone than a big table with people I don’t know.

Then this older woman sat at my table. She didn’t even ask if it was okay—she just looked at me, said, “I won’t bite,” and sat down. I go out to eat all the time, and I have never had a stranger sit with me at a table, much less a tiny one with two chairs. But you know, there really wasn’t anywhere else. So that was fine. Then we got to talking as I noticed that she had on a juror badge. I was in the middle of being considered for a two week trial, which I thought was bad enough, but it turned out she was on an actual case that was stretching out over six weeks, which would totally suck. She was pretty interesting so we were chatting about old people driving and chemistry. And how you have to be true to yourself. You know, normal stuff. And I have to say, if a 78-year-old woman with five kids, nine grandkids, and fifteen great grandkids thinks it’s okay for women not to need men, give that some thought.

Then I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye and saw the little girl standing there with her mom, holding something out. I realized slowly that it was a gift card, and they had the girl thank me again. I really didn’t know what to do, but I took it and said thanks. We all went on with lunch and eventually they left.

But seriously, they gave me a gift card for being nice. I mean, what a crappy world we live in where doing something that helps somebody else and doesn’t inconvenience you in any way is worthy of major thanks.*

So, see if you can do something nice for somebody.**

* It also occurs to me that they probably all had the opposite reaction to the experience. “See, the world is great—there are still wonderful, thoughtful people out there, helping each other out!” Of course, I am usually a pragmatic, glass-is-half-empty kind of person (in my defense, this may be because I figure I must have been the one to drink the other half, since I do love my liquid calories, and now there’s less left to drink).

** Also, maybe you’ll get a gift card out of it.

Stolen Day

I’ve lived in the Seattle area for almost four years now and we never get snow, but a pretty impressive snowstorm passed over Sunday night, dumping a notable amount of snow over the region. I took a ruler and measured seven inches in my deck railing. One of the things that impressed me about the snow was that there was absolutely no wind, so it fell perfectly vertically. Everything is covered with snow but the area underneath is bare.

Another thing about the snow was that it was ideal for snowman-making. The kids from next door made an lopsided snowman that lasted until rain came through a couple days later and melted it into a mess. One of my coworkers made a giant snowball that was over four feet across.

I’d like to say I went out and played in the snow, too, but it didn’t happen. Instead, I took advantage of the fact that I couldn’t get into work (I live up on a hill that joins the main road, which has a drop-off onto the tops of trees, and no barrier) to play in a different way—I worked on a short story. It always nice to have a stolen day now and again…

snow in the front yard
Snow from the front door

 

backyard snow
Snow from the backyard

 

front yard snow
Snow down the road

Point of View and Editing

I originally wrote my first book in third person (“She went to the store”) but recently decided it would be better in first (“I went to the store”). So I converted the whole book, which was a ton of work and not nearly as easy as it sounds. It isn’t as simple as changing some pronouns. Certainly, that’s a large part of it, but it also requires looking at perspective. I wrote in third person limited, which means that I only wrote from the perspective of the narrator, the main character. The book only revealed what she could know, how she thought, and so on. But there’s another element even in third person, and that’s how the novel is written in terms of closeness to the narrator (how much the reader gets into their head). With close, in particular, you wouldn’t say something like, “She ran her hand through her blonde hair,” because it’s kind of weird for her to be thinking about the color of her hair. With more distance it would seem less weird. In my case, it was pretty close, which makes it quite similar to first person (and requires fewer changes). But there were still some things that needed changing.

I naturally had someone read through it after I made all the changes because I knew I would have missed some, and there were some funny mistakes that my reader caught. I thought I’d share them here for your amusement.

  • “…then I realized she’d have to pay for it all myself.”
  • “I chewed on her thumbnails…”
  • “I forced herself to nod.”
  • “I bit her lip…”
  • “Then she remembered what I’d been thinking about before and my stomach lurched.”
  • “I stopped and leaned on her knees …”
  • “…this was not helping me to clear her head at all.”
  • “I concentrated on her feet and looking at my surroundings.”
  • “I didn’t really know why I couldn’t get herself to start doing my homework.”
  • “…when I extricated herself…”

Anyway, I thought some of these were pretty funny. Maybe you did, too.

Review: Dealing with Blue by Stacia Leigh

Dealing with Blue book cover

Dealing with Blue is a sweet YA romance featuring an unlikely partnership between Suzy Blue, a nice girl who might be a tiny bit uptight, and J.J. Radborne, a good guy who’s just been dumped by his long-time girlfriend. They’re really likable and credible characters who both grow (and grow up) through the book. I quite enjoyed the chance to get to know them. I should mention that Stacia is my critique partner so I had the opportunity to see not only the characters grow, but also the book itself. The end result is charming.

Suzy and J.J. have known each other since they were little kids, because they lived next door to each other for years. But when Suzy’s parents split a while back, she moved out to live with her dad. But now he’s been shipped off to a war zone and she’s forced to move back in with her troubled mom. I say “troubled” because she’s a hoarder, and this means things are difficult for Suzy. Personally, I really enjoyed this setup and watching how it all unfolds through the rest of the book. It’s a fairly honest (but not unsympathetic) look at hoarding and the way it touches the lives of people living with it.

J.J.’s life isn’t nearly so difficult, but it’s not all unicorns and rainbows, either. Getting dumped by his girlfriend really sucks. They were together forever and he thinks he really loves her. But he has a plan for this—make her jealous and she’ll want him back. Who better to help with this then his old pal, Suzy? All he has to do is teach her to drive so she can escape. It doesn’t occur to him to wonder why she needs to get away so bad, but it doesn’t matter since theirs will be a mutually beneficial deal.

Watching Suzy and J.J.’s relationship unfold is a lot of fun. It’s sweet and cute but wholly believable. Suzy is terrified of J.J. finding out about her mom’s hoarding, and the whole time I was wondering how J.J. he would react when he finds out (because of course, he has to). The resolution is interesting and satisfying.

Another way that the book provides an unusual perspective is that it feels more like J.J.’s story to me. Usually a romance focuses on the girl’s perspective, so if you like seeing more of the guy’s perspective, you’ll especially like this.

You can buy Dealing with Blue on Amazon US

Review: Carrie Pilby by Caren Lissner

Carrie Pilby book cover
Carrie Pilby offers an interesting portrait of an unusual girl, one I can sort of relate to, though she’s way smarter and way more well-balanced at her age than I was.

Carrie is 19 and she’s recently graduated with a degree from Harvard because she’s very, very smart. But she’s also become a bit of a hermit. Her only family is her father, and he’s in Europe. He does support her, though, and she has a decent apartment to hide out in. Because that’s what she’s doing. She spends most of her time lounging in bed in her apartment. She’s obviously got low-grade depression (possibly dysthymia) but it seems to come mostly from being isolated.

And why is she isolated? Well, she’s a little socially awkward, it’s true. But the reader can easily see that the real problem is her worldview. She’s very cynical and sees almost everyone around her as hypocrites (sex-obsessed ones at that). She’s fairly judgmental and holds everyone else up to her own high standard. If they’re not as smart as she is, they’re stupid. If they don’t hold themselves to the same moral standards, they’re horrible. And so on.

So in some ways, she’s not the most likable person. But like every good New Yorker, she has a therapist. Hers challenges her to change her life by doing a few smallish things, and she finally relents and gives it a shot. He’s told her to list 10 things she likes, join a group, go on a date, tell someone she cares, and celebrate New Year’s. For most people, this wouldn’t be hard, but it is for Carrie because she has to change her outlook to make it all happen. So the book is suddenly about dismantling her worldview a piece at a time. Not too far into the book, she finally gets a job that makes her interact with other humans and we start to see her walls shrink a little. Her quest to finish the list takes her a lot of unexpected places and we watch her grow and finally learn how to live a little more happily.

Oh, and it’s funny, too. Self-aware social misfits often are.

You can buy Carrie Pilby: A hilarious and charming story on Amazon

Review: Only Ever Yours by Louise O’Neill

Only Ever Yours book cover

Only Ever Yours is Irish author Louise O’Neill’s first novel and it’s remarkable. You know how some books stay with you, or basically haunt you? This is one of those. She creates an extreme and disturbing dystopian world that is still very credible. Think The Handmaid’s Tale. It messed with my head so much that I had to tell other people about it—I needed to get it off my chest to spread some of the feeling of disturbance around.

I’ll give you a basic setup of the world of the book. Men control virtually everything. Or, they control everything that matters, leaving a few women in charge of controlling the “designed” girls that are brought up entirely to satisfy the all-important men in one way or another. They are test tube babies, basically, and each have a number assigned to them (their model number). Everything they do relates to a specific cohort of young men. Each year, the society designs three times as many girls as there are two-year-old boys. The girls’ roles are determined on their sixteenth birthday, where they will each become a companion (the designated son-breeding machine assigned to one of the cohort), a concubine, or a “teacher” at the center they themselves were raised in.

O’Neill’s main character is called frieda (aka #630) and the book is told entirely from her (very warped) perspective. She’s approaching her sixteenth “design day.” frieda doesn’t know how messed up her world is and O’Neill does a magnificent job of withholding details of that world, letting just enough info leak out to keep you really interested. You know throughout the book that the ending isn’t going to be nice—whatever role she is assigned, it’s terrible. All the girls strive to be companions, but even that has a very disturbing consequence, besides the inherent being-a-slave part. But the ending still surprised me.

The world is so extreme that some might find it hard to buy into. After all, the girls all are basically willing participants in a system they don’t question. But I found it credible because girls and women have a track record of participating in their own subjugation (judging others for not wearing enough makeup or for dressing “slutty”, voting for a man who has bragged about sexually assaulting women, or in more extreme cases, forcing young girls to marry or arranging cliteredectomies… the list goes on).

You can buy Only Ever Yours on Amazon